JellyPages.com

Friday, November 11, 2011

Guest Post #3 ~ The one where I spit out my coffee, falling in the revolving doors in my office building, and thorw up in a news paper bag...

Hi ya'll!
The name is Marcy and I am from the Bluegrass state where we wear no shoes and marry our cousins...
I kid.  I kid.
Although when Hubby and I went to get our marriage license we were asked if there was any relation.
Ew...  Really?
Anyways, I was actually shocked when Ash asked me to guest blog considering I was a virgin at it up until now.
I sorta freaked out at first...
WTH am I going to talk about that anybody would want to read and take cute Miss Ash's place?
And the two other blog posts... ya those were some of her good friends!  LOL
So bare with me and I will do my best!

Like I said before the name is Marcy...
If you couldn't tell from the pictures I am obviously the life of the party...
I get it from this guy...
and back on April 29th my life changed forever when I married this dude...
and between us we have two beautiful chitlins...
Life is good my friends and with lots of convincing we may be expanding our family in the next year...
But for now I am a lover of all things that come in a 24 pack and have Michelob Ultra written on the box, a sippy cup filled with wine, or a good mixed drink =)
Oh and can't forget that I love coffee, too...  I swear if I could hook it up to an IV line I would!

My title of this blog post pretty much sums it up...

The one where I spit out my coffee:
This morning whilst driving the reasons for all my gray hairs girls to school I spit my coffee out all over myself, my steering wheel, and the inside front part of my windshield.
(No, I still haven't cleaned it up either...  talk about a sticky mess later, whatever)
The conversation that was the cause went a little something like this...
Shelby (my five year old):  "Mom, why does Alexis (my best friends daughter) where them things you do?"
Me:  "What things are you talking about babe?"
Shelby:  "You know them things that you wear everyday?"
Me (obviously puzzled):  "Shelby, my dear, I have no clue what you are referring to?"
Lauren (my step-daughter whom is 7):  "She is talking about a training bra...  Alexis was showing them to us last night."
Me:  "Oh..."  (that's all I could get out)
Shelby:  "Ya them training things Mom for your boobs."
Lauren:  "Duh she is training her bras Shelby for when they need to hold her boobs in them!"
Que for me spitting my ENTIRE mouth full of coffee all over me and everything else...
I am obviously not ready for this.
I need Pinot on tap stat.

The one where I fell in the revolving doors of my office building:
I thought I would be cute one day and playfully hop in the same slot with my friend from work.
WRONG.
If you have wanted to do this...
DON'T!
Take my advice.
It hurts and not only bruises your ego but almost knocks a tooth out...
Lets just say my face was smudged into the door and my body ended up in the shape of a pretzel.
I NEVER want my body to make that shape again...
Neither would you my friends, neither would you.

The one where I threw up on our second date in a plastic newspaper bag:
You read that right...
It was our second date.
We didn't have the kids that night so responsibilities were thrown out the window.
We got together with family and friends for some unknown reason and I should have known it was going to end badly when I started humping the slow man sign and the beer pong table came out...
Kidding...  Maybe...
Anyways...
After too many beers to count, endless glasses of wine, and some mixed drinks thrown in there I was done.
D.O.N.E.
On our way home I told my then boyfriend, now hubby, that he needed to pull over I was going to be sick.
He didn't believe me.
First mistake...
We stopped at a local gas station and he said he would go in and get me a bag in case I got sick.
Well...
He didn't get back fast enough.
There was a cop sitting in the parking lot (amazing that I noticed that). 
Everybody was lucky that I didn't throw myself out of the car projectile vomiting all over everything in my path.
Instead I grabbed the first thing I saw...
The infamous news paper bag.
Side note-Husband has a paper route he does once a week hence that being in the car.
I started throwing up in it...
First of all like it would actually hold anything?
Seriously Marcy?
Not forgetting to mention that there was a hole in the bottom of it...
So everything I was throwing up was going right into my lap.
I will spare you any further details except this...
The man is STILL with me!

Think I am crazy yet?  Maybe an alcoholic?  LOL
No way!
Just a wife and mama of two that enjoys every ounce of my life to the fullest!
I work hard to play hard...
I live for my Husband and my girls...
I love my family and my friends and even if I didn't know you I would give you the shirt of my back.
I think Ash is absofreakinglutely adorable.
Hope ya'll enjoyed reading my very first guest blog post...

Tootles =)

Oh ps I have another man in my life that my Husband is totally fine with and I thought I would share...
Don't be too jealous ladies!

1 comment:

Jessica Drew ♥ Stilettos & a fishing pole said...

Ohhh Marcy, I'll follow you wherever you go! HIL-ARIOUS!!!!! You are out of your mind!